Praying For Our Enemies

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

Matthew 5:43-45

I learned to pray for my persecutors when my best friend decided to stop being my friend.

One day, my closest friend of several years just stopped calling or texting and never told me why. There was no explanation, no discussion, no more friendship - even to this day. Every time I saw them they acted as if we had never been friends at all. I had been discarded.

It’s hard to explain the hurt of being rejected by a dear friend, especially as an adult. Our friends can be our most treasured gifts. But they can also cause devastating hurt.

As time went on my heart turned from grief and hurt to anger, hate, and indignant retribution. It consumed me.

I was surprised at what the injury had brought to the light. My hunger to see them hurt as they had hurt me was terrifying and I am not proud of it. But I share for those of you who have experienced the same thing. If you have known this hurt let me say I am so very sorry but know that you are not alone.

The strength of this hate caused me to realize that if I did not do something my soul was going to wither away. I knew what Jesus had said about enemies and so, begrudgingly, I began to pray blessing over my former friend.

At first, it had no effect on my heart. For a long time I would effectively "rage-pray". I would spew out how badly I wanted them to hurt like I hurt and then, at the end, I would ask God to bless them. The words of blessing felt like poison that I wanted to spit from my mouth as quickly as possible. I vomited out my prayers.

But slowly, over years of praying for them, my pain and hurt began to be soothed. Some might say it was just time but I know it was God transforming my heart through those vomited prayers I offered.

And now years later, I can say that I have no desire for revenge nor am I filled with hate.  It is not hard for me to pray blessing over them when they come to mind. God, in His grace, has brought me peace. He has done what I thought was impossible. 

I might still hurt but I do not hate.

Jesus asks us to do things that seem backward but it is because He knows our human hearts. He knows that if we do not pray for our persecutors we risk becoming just like them. And the worst part might be how quickly and easily we will feel justified in doing so.

You can see it in my own story. My heart and mind became bitter and hardened, desiring pain rather than peace. I desired to do the exact thing to someone one else that had caused me hurt. My heart was being deformed into the heart of an enemy. 

Since death entered the world it has had its icy fingers at the doorway of our hearts and minds. Our evil enemy comes only to seek, kill, and destroy.

Jesus knows this because He lived it. He waged the same spiritual battle and then some.

Jesus tells us to pray because when we engage in prayer for other people, He can transform our hearts. And when God transforms our hearts, we become more like our Heavenly Father. We begin to see each person as He sees them - an image bearer. We begin to see Jesus in every person.  No matter how marred that image is by evil and hate. 

And when we see Jesus in other people we are moved to compassion. Compassion does not excuse the wrong but it changes our response.

If none of what I have shared has convinced you let me tell you one last thing.

We have to pray for our enemies because Jesus did it. Plain and simple - He prayed for His disciples who would abandon Him, He prayed for His mockers while He hung on a cross.  There is no denying that His pain was greater than any you or I will experience and yet He prayed for His persecutors. 

So, we must do the same. Our very lives depend on it. 

As we approach Lent, would you join me in praying for your enemies - both local, national, and international? Whether you vomit out the words or speak them with sincerity, will you join me in praying for your enemies on the other side of whatever issue you find yourself battling or arguing? 

May this Lent be the moment of transformation for your heart, mind, soul, spirit, body, and will. May you and I become like our heavenly Father rather than our enemies. And may God transform our hearts and eyes to see Jesus' face in every person we meet.

Amen.