What I Am Learning About Asking For Help

A couple months ago one of my kids had an emergency appendectomy. It was scary and unexpected.

I hope you have not had to be in a hospital during this pandemic. They are strange deserted places - filled with patients but without the usual activity of visitors walking around the halls.

In our city, you are only allowed one person to accompany the child. As a Mom, I was the hospital support person while my husband took care of our other children.

I am not one to take the lead and be the person most in charge. But here I was with no one else to help.  

It felt very lonely.

At one point, I had managed to slip away to grab some supper. The hospital we were staying at is designed around a large beautiful 8 storey atrium with a glass ceiling. It is bright and open and I have always loved the architecture.

But that night, as the sole caregiver to my precious sick kid, the large atrium, quiet and empty because of COVID, made me feel small and alone, tiny against this difficult experience.

As I was walking back, feeling unqualified for this large task of getting my kid through this challenge, I was reminded of something from Pilgrim’s Progress.

Christian, the main character, finds himself in some trouble and has sunk into the Slough of Despond - a place of doubt and discouragement.

When Christian is close to giving up he looks to find Help- a servant of the KIng- coming to his aid. As Help pulls Christian out of the slough, he says this: (as written in Little Pilgrim’s Progress)

“Don’t be frightened…The King will always take care of you…The King will watch over you, and whenever you need a friend to help you, He will send somebody…If you are one of the King’s pilgrims, you are quite safe.”

I cried the first time I read that part of the story. And that night in the hospital it brought tears to my eyes again.

The words of Help reached deep down inside me to the little kid trying so hard to be tough and do things on her own.

Do you have that same little kid inside?

The kid that is trying to manage and control everything? The kid that is trying to tidy things up before bringing it to God? The kid that is trying to come up with a solution rather than asking God for help?

Here I was, standing in that huge atrium, facing a task that I was unable to control - an infected appendix wreaking havoc. 

I needed Help.

Right there, God reminded me that I could ask for Help even if I had no idea what I needed and no idea how it could come about. God’s imagination is vastly greater than my own.

And so I prayed, “God - help me. I have no idea how but help me.”

As I prayed those words, a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t have to try anymore. I didn’t have to be tough and carry my child through this. God was going to send help. God was already helping.

That night, God gave me a supernatural inner strength to see my child through surgery and recovery. God gave me courage to face a night in the hospital with a scared kid. God sent me help because He sent Himself.

In the past few months since the surgery, I find myself more and more asking for help. Rather than spending anytime trying to figure out the solution, I just ask for Help and I ask that God would help me recognize it when it comes.  It often comes in the form of another human, sometimes God sends himself, sometimes it is a verse or a quote or something in nature.  It takes all forms. 

Because of this new practise, something is happening in my life.

There is a little less worry, there is a little less ruminating, there a little less concern. In its place peace, trust, and comfort are growing.

It is showing me how to release to God a job that was always his - to be God. And I am taking up my role as a human - finite but dearly loved, one of the King’s Pilgrim’s who is very safe.

I have spent much too much of my life being skeptical of God’s promises, wondering if they truly apply to me or not and how far can they be taken.

There is a huge relief at just taking the words of the Bible as truth. Trusting that if God says that He is our ever present help in times of trouble, our strong tower, our refuge - then He is telling the truth and I can trust in that.

It does not mean it will always turn out how I expected but it does mean that He will send good Help for whatever the task is at hand.

What I am learning about asking for Help is that I need to do it. And once I have asked I have to release it to God and trust He is going to help.  I have to hold God to account to what He has said He will do.  

May you know the watchful eye of the loving King and when you call for help may you find yourself quite safe. May God remind you to ask for help right away and may you recognize it when it comes.