Are You Tired of Trying To Be Everything For Everyone?

There's nothing quite like a blog to keep you honest about your seasonal behaviour.

The last two years, I have consistently written posts in February about being exhausted, worn out, or weary. And we should probably continue the tradition.

February is a funny month.

It is both the shortest month, in terms of days, and the longest month, in terms of how it feels. Where I live, February is still very, as Christina Rossetti so aptly put it, "bleak midwinter".

I hit some sort of tipping point in February. My patience runs unusually thin for the clothes on the floor, the unmatched socks, the never ending need to make supper, or the job of helping organize three little humans’ feelings (as well as my own).

Things just start to get to me.

Things like the bickering amongst my children, and the bickering of adults online and in the news. I am tired of the anger and hate in our culture and equally tired of how quickly I can dissolve into anger and cynicism about the state of humanity.

I grow extra impatient with my own healing journey and those of my friends - friends who deal with cancer, crippling mental illness, grief, loss, and difficulty. My impatience feels like helplessness because no matter how hard I try, I cannot heal them.

In February, I just want to wave my hand and have it all fixed - from the plastic in the ocean to drug addiction to broken friendships to long cold winters and everything in between. I’m tired of trying so hard but am also tired of all the problems.

February is a tough month.

The other day I leaned into the kitchen counter where I was making supper and muttered to myself with tears brimming, "I just can't be everything for everyone anymore!"

Have you ever felt that way? That all the demands of your life get to a point where you cannot handle the responsibility? Where there are too many things you are managing or carrying and life is becoming unravelled?

It is so easy to step into role after role because there is a need or because you are capable. It is so easy to step in because no one else is doing it or we are afraid God will not move quickly enough or at all.

And then, one morning, you wake up and cannot continue on with your schedule and responsibilities. You hit a bit of a wall.

I feel this, most significantly, in February. 

I struggle with this nagging sense that if I just worked hard enough, was organized enough, pushed hard enough, or cared enough I could fix and mend and heal and sort out all the problems.

I actually had a counsellor look me straight in the eye and say, "You are not the Holy Spirit! The next time you see someone in need, someone you can instinctually tell is having a hard time - walk over to them, tell them they have nice shoes, and then walk away and pray for them. Then let the Holy Spirit do His job.  "

I am not the Holy Spirit. And neither are you.

But this is good news!

You and I were never meant to handle ALL the responsibility.

You and I were never created to fix and heal and mend and sort out everyone. We were never created to do anything in our own strength. We were created to be human, not God.

You are not "the only Jesus someone will ever see" because Jesus is the only Jesus someone will ever see. He is calling every single person. He is working in every single person’s life before you get there and after you leave.

He is Jehovah Shemmah - the Lord (who is) there. Always. Yesterday, today, and forever.

You are a beloved child of God, invited into relationship with Him. This means that He is offering you the freedom of no longer carrying everyone and everything on your shoulders. You do not have to be God. Humanity picked up that lie in Eden and our redemption is a process of coming out from under it. You just need to let El Shaddai - the all sufficient one - do His work. He is enough for you, for all the people you want to care for, and all the problems you see that need to be fixed.

Your sole job is this: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

That's it.

It almost seems too simple.  

But this phrase can give great shape to how we live our lives and what we put our hands to. 

When I read that phrase, fear rises inside that if I stopped, nothing would ever get done. I am afraid to leave it up to God.

But that fear, in me, is a hint of how much further I still have to go in this journey of putting down God-hood and picking up Child-ship.  Even though I know this truth, my heart and spirit are still learning to walk it out.

The entire Bible is the testament of God staying true to His promises. It is a reminder that God will accomplish His purposes in His perfect timing. We are invited to participate when God asks. But our primary everyday goal is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

As you read this, what is God speaking to you about what He HAS invited you to participate in and, also, what He is asking you to lay down?

What would it look like for you to stop trying to be everything for everyone and allow God to be that instead?

What do you need to give up, lay down, resign from, or step away from in order to remember that you are a beloved child and not God himself?

I am not going to pretend that these are easy questions.

They are not.

I always feel a bit nervous when I ask them because I am afraid of what God is going to ask me to lay down.

These questions can be rather painful because they mean surrendering.

But you and I have to ask them. The health of our whole person depends on it.

This February, when I ask these questions, there are many things that come up. The most pressing is that I have to surrender the loved ones I am concerned about. I have to confess that I have believed that God is not working and not moving fast enough. And ask forgiveness for believing that God must not care about them. And, then, I have to re-entrust my friends into His care - over and over. Knowing that He is the only one capable to heal, mend, fix, and carry.

The more I can lay down trying to be God and pick up being His child - I learn to trust Him and I have the opportunity to know Him more and see Him working because I have stopped trying so hard. And in that trust, I find joy and rest. And this joy breathes new life into my weary February soul.

This week, may God lead you and I into joyful rest as beloved Children of God and may our eyes be opened to His work around us. May we surrender the things we have been carrying in our strength and be filled with faith and hope to let Him carry them instead.